At Last, An End To Despair
Though there was gradual improvement, for over 25-years I struggled with this horrid depression, forcing myself by sheer willpower to better myself, only to sink back into despair.
This was a constant cycle.
The first real relief came in the late 1990s, when I began to take the modern antidepressant, Prozac.
Previously I’d been prescribed Elavil, but the results were these awful mood swings. When I took it, after the first couple of days the fog would be gone. After two more days I’d get so up - that it felt as if I were bursting out of my head. When I reduced the dosage, I went back to normal, then back to despair.
After two months of this, I decided to forego the medication.
The Prozac was more stable, but when the dose was increased, for some reason the depression returned.
I was then switched to Venlafaxine HCl, and now take the maximum daily dosage.
To that was added Trazodone, another antidepressant that helps with anxiety and insomnia. Again, it’s the maximum daily dosage.
- - - - -
The effect was that instead of being immersed in a fetid swamp, I was hovering inches above it. And though I’d still sometimes sink back into the darkness, it wasn’t eternal like before. I could pull myself out. Even so, I can feel it lurking in the background.
The most noticeable long-term issue is difficulty with memory, something I’ve mentioned to my doctor several times. It’s not that I’m senile, but that my mind has trouble focusing on a task, and tends to wander.
This was a constant cycle.
The first real relief came in the late 1990s, when I began to take the modern antidepressant, Prozac.
Previously I’d been prescribed Elavil, but the results were these awful mood swings. When I took it, after the first couple of days the fog would be gone. After two more days I’d get so up - that it felt as if I were bursting out of my head. When I reduced the dosage, I went back to normal, then back to despair.
After two months of this, I decided to forego the medication.
The Prozac was more stable, but when the dose was increased, for some reason the depression returned.
I was then switched to Venlafaxine HCl, and now take the maximum daily dosage.
To that was added Trazodone, another antidepressant that helps with anxiety and insomnia. Again, it’s the maximum daily dosage.
- - - - -
The effect was that instead of being immersed in a fetid swamp, I was hovering inches above it. And though I’d still sometimes sink back into the darkness, it wasn’t eternal like before. I could pull myself out. Even so, I can feel it lurking in the background.
The most noticeable long-term issue is difficulty with memory, something I’ve mentioned to my doctor several times. It’s not that I’m senile, but that my mind has trouble focusing on a task, and tends to wander.